‘Log Kya Kahenge’- The unnecessary social demon hanging over our heads!

 

“‘Log Kya Kahenge’ – The Most Powerful Force in Indian Society”

This earth, we live in, provides us multiple ecosystems to accommodate over eight billion people and thousands and thousands of other species, the major aim is to eat healthy, do what you love and thrive for the people you love, that I would describe as the basic idea of living, all the other things to consider like buying a luxury car might be irrelevant or maybe relevant at times. The major aim in life that I consider for myself, is, ‘The feeling of contentment’. I would describe it as, having no liabilities that I cannot afford, having a place of my own and just being able to do anything new, that I would say is contentment to me, for any other person reading this, it might be different or totally opposite, but that is his/her opinion towards their own life, and even if it is a debatable point, I would like it to be an ‘Agree to disagree’ conclusion but from what I have noticed, people enforce their own opinions in the good name of guiding, and people follow this, all of that, just because of “Log Kya Kahenge”.

The Paradox of ‘Log Kya Kahenge?’

At some point of time, all of us have been in this paradox of “Log kya kahenge?” (What will the other people think about us?) But matter of concern, rather say, question of concern is, ‘Does what people say really matter?’ and even if it does, ignoring your gut just because of being scared of what will people say, makes you unsure about your own decision making ability.

"Passion vs. Pressure: The Cost of Choosing Careers to Please Society"

I would like to refer a film anecdote here from 3 idiots, one of the lead character, Farhan Qureshi, wanted to pursue wildlife photography, but his father and the society’s opinion was that he should be an engineer and he struggled there but at last he shifted and he was content, no matter what the society said at that point, he went with his gut feeling but there are thousands of Farhan’s in reality who couldn’t do what they wanted to and they suffered the everlasting feeling of regret. Reports suggest a mismatch between student interests and chosen fields, often due to societal and familial pressure pushing toward engineering, medicine, or established professional tracks. Reports note that only 10–15% of engineering graduates are actually employable, hinting at misalignment between choice and satisfaction.

Sacrificing Personal Needs for Others’ Expectations

People do a lot of things, or make a lot of sacrifices in order to live up to the expectation of others, that might include keeping aside the need of the hour or may be cross a few limits that might hurt them, example being, people buying luxury cars, houses, watches even when they cannot afford it, they get into a lot of debt, paying up EMI’s that are putting them under a lot of stress and all of that in the name of living up to the expectations of the people who won’t offer any help when your EMI is due, or if a problem strikes you.

Beyond Money: How Society Influences Life Choices

This problem is not just about money, this paradox is widespread across many spectrums, there’s a famous saying rising from a few parts of India from the last few years, “That a child belonging to middle class family first pursues engineering and then he finally looks on what he wanted to do”, this is the narrative of people, even in tier 1 and metropolitan cities, everyone, in the name of guiding, says what they think the child should do, but no one thinks of what the child or the student wanted to do.

When Social Image Overrides Personal Happiness

As I already said, this spectrum follows everyone, everywhere, I have seen a few cases where people choose to stay in disturbed or unsuccessful marriages and not choose to go for separation all in the name of keeping a good image in the society we live in. According to the Dana Adam Shapiro Survey 2012, only 17% of married couples report being happy, that implies, 83% feel unhappy or dissatisfied at some level. But the main question is those two people are the one silently suffering in this paradigm of living with this mess, and the people, whose opinions they were scared off, might also have some problems that they are scared to address because of the this paradox of ‘Log Kya Kahenge?’.

Breaking Free from the ‘Log Kya Kahenge’ Paradox"

At last, I want to say that there surely are a few social conventions that we need to follow and need to be in the good eyes of people but that doesn’t mean putting your own choices and different opinions in jeopardy, living with your choices unless and until they are unethical, is a pivotal part of your personal integrity and self-respect. Those people, who won’t come to hold your back at the time you need it the most, there opinions about you are of zero value, what you and people you thrive for think,  that is immense value. If you are confused about your career, go to a career counsellor, not to your neighbourhood uncle, if you and your partner have been having their fare share of problems in a marriage, go to a marriage counsellor, not to the relative who himself is not happy or content with something but is scared to come out with the problem, being a victim of the same paradox. I want to conclude by saying that, no matter what, this paradox is not necessary as well as irrelevant. This was my opinion on this demonic social convention disrupting our choices, make sure to tell if you have any relatable story about this convention and if you liked my opinions, make sure to come here often for more weekly scattered opinions of mine, here I am signing out.
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